My new WTP Envy self destructs while doing 110 km/h on the 417!

I was pretty jazzed about picking up my new BMX. My handlebars still had not arrived, so I decided that I didn't feel like waiting another day or two and went ahead and picked up the bike anyway. I got Jose to leave the stock WTP Envy bars on.
The bike looks pretty sweet. Feels very light and very solid. We'll see.

Some kid at Joe Mamma's thought it looked nice but wondered out loud why some dude in a suit and tie was buying a BMX.

"You don't look like a BMX rider."

Ouch. I thought about messing with him and being witty, but I have a pretty sarcastic dry wit that I usually try to deliver deadpan. It would have been funny, but not in real time. It would have been funny the next day when I told the story of the awkward scene I caused by messing with some kid at the local bike shop. So I muttered something about getting back into sports or whatever and minded my own business.

(Note to self: don't wear a suit to the local skatepark.)

Here's a couple pics of some new bike goodness.





So, Jose at Joe Mamma's gave me a pretty good deal and I was generally feeling pretty psyched as I cranked up the minivan to 110 km/h and turned up the radio. Head bobbing, fingers tapping, and stealing loving glances over my shoulder of the sweet new bike nestled snugly behind my seat every 45 seconds or so.

PING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap! WTF?! My first thought was that a piece of metal had flown up and nailed my windshield or window frame. That sucks. But my detective skills told me that my deduction was off. That sound wasn't outside the van. It was inside the van. INSIDE THE VAN! Like the horror movie where the super hot baby-sitter chick is on the phone to the cops and they're all like, "We traced the number. It's coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!" Oh no! (so, yeah, for the sake of the metaphor, I am the super hot baby-sitter chick) So, I know something is up. And I stop taking loving glances over my shoulder. I just drive home and wait to get out and see what is up. I'm bummed, but still hopeful it isn't something bad.

Integrated seatpost clamp my ass! That thing busted itself off! Like right off. Check out the carnage below:



I call Joe Mamma's but they're closed. I leave a message. I'm not bitter. It's just a stupid seat post clamp and I'll get a new one. I don't think we need to involve the warranty police or send the frame away to Taiwan for visual inspection. Let's all just relax and move on.

Holding the broken clamp in my hand, I am shocked at how light and flimsy it seems. That does it. I want a cool seat post clamp now. And I want it to be a white one. And it should definitely be made out of something thicker than loose leaf paper.



And just like that, I'm not nearly as concerned with really light weight components.

Have surfer tattoo = you better surf

Tattoos are the coolest thing ever. To have a tattoo means that you are totally hardcore. Nobody can dare question your commitment. You put your money down, steeled your courage and actually went through with it. I was thoroughly convinced of all of these things about 18 years ago. I also wanted everyone who met me to associate the awesome coolness of surfing with yours truly. Well, to make it happen, I took an image out of a surfing mag and 'stylized' it. It was a black & white cartoon image of a surfer taken from a Surfline ad. Then I made up a fictional company that sounded cool (cuz I was going to fashion T-shirts/hoodies/surf clothes and be famous/rich) and put my new 'logo' needle deep on my right arm/shoulder. It was the coolest thing ever. It was 'SLAM BROS SURF!'



Now, I've barely ever surfed. I do some windsurfing, but it's not the same. I've only tried real, actual surfing a couple of times while on vacation and I never really did get the hang of it. But, as a part of the 'don't let your children see how lame you are' approach that I now have, I am committing myself to getting some decent rides in this summer.

You simply cannot live out your life with a surf tattoo on your arm and not be able to surf. So, this summer I will be spending 2 weeks down in North Carolina.

First thing I'm going to do is pick up a nice longboard/funboard like this:


And then go out on this stuff and, you know, stand up on the thing...

So what's this talk about skateboarding?

Yeah, unlike a lot of folks I don't discriminate based on skater vs bmxer. Whatever. I think they're both cool. Always have. I bought the boys some kick-ass skateboards last summer for their birthdays and I pulled my skateboard out as well.



So, after no skateboarding for 20 years or so, I decided to go out in front of the house with the kids and see just how foreign riding a skateboard had become. I specifically wanted to see if I could ollie. If I couldn't ollie it would be a pretty big indicator of things to come. So, with the kids circling me on tricycles and their little bikes, I went out and tried a couple of ollies.

I found that I could actually get the board off the ground. Not just off the ground, but I could probably ollie a recycle box if I needed to. This was unexpected. Most unexpected. I told my wife to run and grab the video camera. I was motivated. Over the next few days I went online and found some tips on kickflips and heelflips.
After clearing some space in my garage, I set up the video camera to help me analyze what I was doing wrong or right. (You know, just like the pros do to unlock the secret mechanics of the perfect golf swing.) The first time I did this I actually managed to land a heelflip. (Something that I didn't know how to do 20 years ago. Which is really weird.) It wasn't pretty. It wasn't stylish. Actually, it looked pretty awful and only by freeze-frame can I actually prove that the board leaves the ground, but hey, I don't know any other 38 year olds at my office that can heelflip.
So, in case I never land another one, here is the video proof.


(My 7 year old picked the music. I had an old Cake song picked out, but my 7 year old told me it was lame and specifically requested Red Flag by Billy Talent.)

I have a list a of tricks that I'm going to try and learn. Any tips on these tricks will be greatly appreciated.
shove-it
kickflip
heelflip
varial kickflip
50/50 and 5-0 grind

Next summer once the halfpipe is done, I'm going to try and learn to ride that.

Personally, I prefer a big back yard.

Since we live in 'the sticks', (within city limits, but just barely), I have 2.5 acres on which to play around with. The BMX track will be inside our treeline and will weave in and out of the trees. It also has a nice little downslope which will help. The only major problem is that there is a lot of poison ivy. I've been getting rid of the poison ivy by digging it up and making jumps out of it. If you have a better idea, I'd like to hear it.
I started digging the track back in 2006 when my oldest was only 3. It didn't see much use and I pretty much only had a double jump and table started. The best comment so far was when one of my new neighbours asked me point blank "Don't you have anything better to do?" Thanks neighbour. Go mow your lawn.

Here's what it looked like:


My 3 year old son makes them look a little bigger than they are. The jumps are about 3.5' tall.



Last summer, I decided to get the shovel out again and start digging. Here is the current state of 'the dirt track':

No more double jumps. Too hard for kids. There are now two table-tops and a few twisty berms.


The second table top is around 8' wide and has two separate take-offs with a shared landing. Note the 'coping' on the smaller lip. It seems to really help my 7 year old learn when to pull up.


Here is a little berm that is just beginning to be built up. All that grass in the middle will be shovelled out and piled into the berm.



I've pretty much exhausted the 'dig and move' approach as I started to hit some rock patches. This summer, I will order up some dumptruck loads of dirt and build it proper.



I'll keep posting up pics of the progression of the jumps/dirt track. If you have any cool ideas, let me know. I am toying with the idea of building up a big dirt spine jump or maybe even a dirt bowl?

What kind of kid's bike did I buy?

Well, after much research, my bike of choice for the BMXperiment of 2010 will be a We The People Envy. I sought out opinions and this bike seems like it should fit the bill as a dirtjumper/park bike. (I'll replace the WTP official photo that you see here with an actual photo of my bike when I pick it up this week.)

But after further research, it appears that riding a factory complete makes you less cool. Since I don't want to dilute the process, I've decided to customize the bike a little bit. I'm swapping out the bars and fork for Odyssey components. From what I've read, Odyssey components are quite trendy and sure to make the bike appear even cooler. If this doesn't work and I don't progress quickly enough, I'll just buy a custom frame and consider going brakeless. If I can't decide, I'll seek out opinions on a PinkBike forum to reconfirm the rules of cool.

Seriously though, I just thought the new white forks/bars would look trick. Yes, I'm shallow. Don't judge me!

Here's a list of the components:

FRAME: Envy 2.0 Full Sanko CrMo, 20.75"TT / 13.22"CS / 75°HT
FORK: Odyssey Classic Race
BARS: Odyssey Aaron Ross Spacebars
GRIPS: wethepeople "All Day Grips" Mike Brennan signature
STEM: wethepeople "Supreme" Stem
HEADSET: Salt Int. Headset sealed bearing
LEVER: éclat "Swift" Brakelever
BRAKES: éclat "Unit" U-brake
CRANKS: éclat "Tibia" 2pc Crank
BB: Salt Mid Size BB sealed bearing
PEDALS: éclat "Surge" PC Pedals
CHAIN: Salt Half-link Chain
SPROCKET: wethepeople "Supreme Sprocket" 25T
DRIVER: 9T 1-piece cassette driver, sealed bearing
FRONT HUB: Salt PRO Bolt sealed 3/8´s 36H, female axle, alloy cones
REAR HUB: Salt Cassette 9T sealed bearing / polymer bearing
FRONT RIM: éclat “Bondi“ double wall rim welded 36H, convex sidew.
REAR RIM: éclat “Bondi” double wall rim welded 36H, straight sidew.
SEAT: éclat "Gonzo" Pivotal Seat
SEAT POST: éclat "Torch" Pivotal Seatpost, 3D forged alloy, 75mm
SEAT CLAMP: integreated slim steel seatclamp
TIRES: wtp "Feelin" 2.25" front / wtp "Feelin" 2.1" rear
WEIGHT: 10.18kg (22.443lb) <- this should be about right with the lighter fork/bars and with the brakes added.


Here is what I was riding back in the good old days:
Redline RL-20 in Radberry with chrome stays. Sweet. Circa 1986. It could use a longer seatpost though...

Why do you ride a kid's bike?

Hey all,

Welcome to my 2010 blog adventure. The basic idea of this blog is to chronicle my attempts at trying to recapture my youth by relearning BMX, skateboarding, snowboarding and surfing, all with the general hope of impressing my 3 young children. I am also quite keen on avoiding a mid-life crisis. Or maybe this is my mid-life crisis? I guess if this experiment fails, I can just go out and buy a Harley Davidson or something.
Anyway, I will soon be turning 39 years old. Crap. That's getting up there. Everyone I know who is around my age is very serious. The people I work with are very serious. I don't fit in that well.

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” (bathroom stall, Perkin's Family Restaurant just off route 81)

That just does not sit well with me. Or at least, it never really happened for me. I don't feel that old. I still haven't hit that point where I don't feel like a young punk kid. Having my own kids has made me sort of feel even younger. I get to play with all kinds of toys. I get to buy any toy I feel like. My kids are reaping the benefits of this. If a toy looks cool or fun, we own it. Dirtbikes, atvs, electric guitars, XBOX 360, PS3, Nintendo DS, snowboards, skiis, you name it. I just think of what I would have wanted if I were still a kid and I go get it. Just because other folks my age have given up, embraced the coffin, and stopped being active, doesn't mean I have to.

But I do have to wear a suit and tie and go to work downtown like all the other schmoes. Can't be helped. We need money to pay for toys. And I can also be serious if I need to be. Here's a pic of me concentrating really hard while looking at a laptop. This is what I look like when I'm posting something. I'm very serious. Note the crows feet, the droopy eyelids. That's what you get for being old and serious. Don't get old kids. It isn't pretty. Gray hair is not optional. It comes standard when you hit about 35 or so.



I have three awesome kids aged 4-7 who are still young enough to think I'm cool.
Here's a pic of the whole family taken by papparazzi while we were on vacation. (I have no idea who the really old dude in the white T-shirt is but if anybody out there does know, tell him to stay out of the frame next time.)



We live in the country on 2.5 acres. My wife is very understanding and I have the green light to do pretty much whatever I want with the yard.
My goal is to build a BMX track, hit up a bunch of local skateparks and next summer (2011) build a 4-6' halfpipe.
For starters though, let's clear some things up. I haven't ridden a BMX bike in 20 years. I've mtbiked lots and while it's time on a bike, it's not bmx. I bought myself a skateboard and rode it a little bit in front of my house. I hadn't skateboarded in 20 years either.
The goal is to get my kids engaged in cool sports that will keep them fit and entertained.
I also want to see if my old bones can handle learning some new tricks.
So, I've ordered up a new BMX bike from Joe Mamma's here in Ottawa. I will be picking it up in the next few days. The BMX track is coming along slowly because it's just been me and my shovel. Seriously, small chilren are useless when it comes to hauling large amounts of dirt.
Here's a quick pic of a small table jump when I first filled in the double. The little track is just not suited to MTBikes. The jumps are not big enough yet. I'm riding on a .243 chromoly hardtail in this pic.



I'm going to do my best to capture my progression and post up lots of pics and videos of the carnage/results. And hopefully get some feedback/advice from folks nice enough to help me out.

Hopefully I don't get hurt too bad.